From: Korey Kiepert <ktkieper>
To : howard <email@example.com>
Date: Fri, 11 Feb 94 19:00:39 EST
Re: HOWARDS (fwd)
>From delugaue Fri Feb 11 16:37:33 1994
Date: Fri, 11 Feb 1994 16:37:37
Subject: Re: HOWARDS
Howards of Insanity
howard must always equal one in any system. this is the major rule of
howard. Therefor, howard can not be 5 on a sytem of 1 to 10 because that
would mean that howard was normal instead of howard beening the norm.
The scale would be more accurate if made from 0 to 2 with howard = to 1
then you could say that 2 would be a person twice as sain as howard and .33
being a person three times less sain then howard.
dealing with heat.
The temperature is always based on howard's temperature which is denoted as
Kelvin units between numbers could be used but since we want to be as
American as possible, the Farenhiet system would be more apropriate.
Thus if Howard was 1 degrees = 98 degrees farenhiet for example.
8 degrees howard would = 106 degrees farenhiet.
the freezing point of water would then equal 32 degrees farenhiet which at
that particular howard reading would = -65 degrees howard. (sounds cold)
But if howard were in a sauna and his farenhiet equivilant were 110 degrees
farenhiet (one howard) the freezing point of water would change to -77
degrees howard. Thus, you can see the value of using the living changing
howard system in chemistry class. Any answer you give might be correct for
a certain howard reading. This would also make the nead for a cable howard
update channel, past howard readings recored in encyclopedias, and ever
changing speed limit signs on highways. Not to mention the changing
speedonometers in cars. All these things would create millions of jobs
around this world that would need well educated employees. This would be
good for Tech grads. It would also lower unemployment many howards. Also,
it would make it harder for Russian Spies to have any clue what we were up
too ( What russian spies?)
Your self appointed howard consultant,
Hippo the Pendragon of Houghton.
Remember, knowing is half the battle.