From: clbergst@mathlab.mtu.edu
  To  : allindqu@mathlab.mtu.edu, klbehren@mathlab.mtu.edu, mbzander@mathlab.mtu.edu, clbergst@mathlab.mtu.edu
  Date: Mon, 14 Feb 94 17:52:08 EST

Re: The Organization fo Less Precise Speech

Dear everyone,

Recently some of you received a letter discussing the concept of  
Howards.  I have
decided to propose an extention to that concept.  I  
call it:

            The Organization for Less Precise Speech

I am sure you have noticed that everywhere you go now-a-days someone  
is
telling you to use more precise speech.  You know like instead of  
saying
several say an exact number and stuff like that.  I think that  
this is all
wrong.  Think of all the problems this causes for people.   
Advertisers have
to say exactly what their products do.  Students  
have to know exactly what
they are saying.  No more BS'ing answer on  
all those essay tests.  Instead
of using nice general terms that  
everyone understands we have to use lots of
complex terms that only a  
few people understand.  This brings up another
point.  Because of the  
complexity of what people have to say most people
today don't even  
know what they, themselves, are saying so how can they
expect anyone  
else to understand.  But I have ways to stop this danger to
our  
society.

The first step is to institute Howards as our national standard of
measurement since they are by definition inconstant. I think our  
number
system should be simplified to one, several, and many; where  
several would be
between 2 and 10 and many would be over 10.  Ages  
could be simplified to
young, adult, and senior citizen with the  
divisions between them completely
arbitrary.  I think the sexual  
divisions of he and she are quite unfair and
I think that both should  
open for use by anyone of any sex.  

This and many more things must be done.  I ask you to join the  
movement to
save our country from the threat of precise speech.

Sincerely,
Chris "I live many Howards away" Bergstedt